Christmas Got Cancelled


Hi Loves, 

It's been a while since I wrote a personal post, I think the reason for this one is probably to help me get my head around the fact that this year's misery really has hit home with me and I probably need to get it off my chest.

I have so far been very positive about the whole lockdown thing, living alone with just my fur boyfriend Ronnie things have not been the easiest, I have one daughter who lives near who has almost 100% locked herself down so that we can see each other, I have not seen my son and is partner since last Christmas and have seen my other daughter and my granddaughters mainly masked on the doorstep.  I am on the vulnerable list being over 60 and with an autoimmune disease (colitis). While the whole staying shut in and not being able to have a kiss or cuddle has been a complete nightmare I always bear in mind how much worse other people have suffered and remind myself to be grateful.  This Christmas was for me on a personal level due to be bloody fantastic, not only is it my birthday on Christmas day, but a stupid family rift that has gone on for a few years has now been mended and with that happening I decided to cook for the entire family in my flat for the first time, I used to always host the Christmas/Boxing Day lunches when I lived in the house as we had the dining room and enough seating for around 13-15 people, in recent years as a family we have been going out for Christmas dinner which has been lovely as it has saved me a lot of work but with the whole Covid situation I decided to throw caution to the wind and get my pots out! 

Weeks later, Covid put a stop to that, for a little while now I have been having doubts about having everyone round for Christmas given the situation, bearing in mind we had not all been together since last Christmas my brain couldn't fathom how it was going to be safe just because it was the 25th December? yes the government had come up with the ingenious bubble system but has anyone actually told Covid we are going on a break? and would we be really comfortable trying to keep a distance while not hugging and kissing? my heart and head were in conflict, do I host Christmas that could actually be my last? or do I forgo our normal Christmas in the hope for many more? 

Discussing it with my grown up children the decision was made that Christmas this year would be VERY different, we are not spending it together, for the first time in 64 years I will wake up alone, not have the excitement of the kids arriving laden with parcels, and for the first time ever I won't be having any decorations, I did decide that I wouldn't be putting up the ginormous tree in any case as it's Ronnies first Christmas and although he he huge he is still a kitten who loves to climb! I will be having a *little* Christmas and birthday with my youngest daughter who is a bloody great cook, so result for me!

I think the best way to think about this situation is how lucky we are nowadays what with the technology that is available to us, I will be able to facetime with the family, we can do a group prezzie opening session online and although it won't be the same it's still pretty amazing that you can see faces and smiles at such a weird time. Years ago it would have been a very different story so there is always something to be grateful for.  Whatever you are doing this year, I hope with every ounce of my being that you have a beautiful safe time.

Lyn  x    AKA Grinch